Humility or fear of judgement?

I was listening to a sermon by John Piper in regards to the churches responsibility in confronting our brothers/sisters or "so-called brothers" (1 Corinthians 5:11) who are unrepentantly in sin. A very strong message but I was struck by this: "Humility does not try to tell God how to be gracious. It listens and tries to obey with fear and trembling." How often do I not go to a brother or sister in sin because I think "who am I to cast judgment on their actions." Although we all suffer with sin issues, we are commanded to go to one another and point each other towards Christ. Humility towards Christ should thrust us forward with fear and trembling to admonish and rebuke our brothers and exhort them in the teachings of Christ not falsely claim passive humility towards another because of our own fears and sin.

If we are in Christ, than we are being purified for his purposes. "Who [Jesus Christ] gave himself for us to redeem is from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works (Titus 2:14)." So those who are in Christ should look towards His purification in us. I am coming closer to the conclusion that Christ will use me in the life of others and others throughout the course of my life to sanctify me and purify me so that I might be used according to His purposes.

"If you reject Christ as a purifier, you do not have Him as a pardoner. You do not have Him as a divided Christ, He is One." (John Piper)

Convicted by a two year old... Part 2: Why you do that?

Since I have returned from my trip, Micah has been in a new phase. Perhaps we should call it the "question" phase. "What's that mommy? What that do mommy? Why you say that mommy? What you doing mommy?" and my favorite "Why you do that mommy?" Ordinarily those are great questions to ask. I am aware that Micah is starting to notice everything around him and so naturally there are questions that are beginning to form in his mind. He wants to know what everything is, how it works, why it works the way it does, and what purpose it holds. At first it was rather cute. I would try to come up with the best answer possible, really trying not to just brush him off and say, "because that's just how or what it is." However, after many days of nonstop questions I have grown weary. I have taken little time to answer his questions and in fact I have become irritated. Many times today I have had to apologize to Micah for my response and try a little harder to give an adequate (for a two year old) explanation. In the midst of one of my not so great responses the Holy Spirit again saw fit for a sanctification moment. The rebuke was so clear, "Do you not spend a lot of time trying to discern, understand, and question the ways of God. Perhaps you should have the grace and mercy and patience that God has towards your constant questioning towards Micah and his questions. But also just as you want Micah to rest in your answers, so you should to rest in Gods." In that moment I realized that Micah is not out to bother me, but rather it is his way of attempting to understand the circumstances around him. But just as it is important for him understand his circumstances, he needs to learn that sometimes mommy does what she does or says what she says because she is mommy and for the most part, she knows best. In the same, I need to learn that God does what He does and says what He says because He is God and He always knows best. Praise the Lord that I may put my trust in One who is infallible, unmovable, unchangeable and just. I am constantly reminding myself that everyday I need to exemplify Christ to Micah. So although I am fallible, I need to be to him unmovable, unchangeable, and as just as I can. Not to mention filled with grace and mercy and patience. So I must continually place my own desires aside to embrace Micah since he has been given to me to be loved, cared for, and brought up in the way he should go.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways! For who has know the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor? Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen."
Romans 11:33-36

Convicted by a two year old...

As we were driving home from our evening activities, I was instructing Micah to stop fussing because he wasn't getting his way. Each time I told him to stop, he would. Than a few seconds later he would follow it up with a sigh, grunt, moan, or just an out right "no" or "don't." It was absolutely infuriating. I was thinking "what boldness he has to think he should get the last word. Why can't he just accept what I say? Certainly he isn't challenging my authority. " And then, like a crashing wave, I was sharply rebuked by the Holy Spirit and immediately I recognized that I am just the same. Nothing like having the Holy Spirit point out your faults by saying, "Look, you are just like a two year old. Don't you always do the same?" I often feel like I have to have the last word so that my side is heard or my point is made or that I make known the discomfort that I am feeling instead of just letting it go. Some battles are meant to be fought, but I have to face it, most for me are just fought out of pride and self preservation, not love.

So, I take tonights little lesson, not the one taught to Micah, but the one taught to me and I look towards my future conversations with more open ears and speech that is filled with a little more grace, a little more mercy, and a lot more humility. Praise God for giving us the exact children we need to help along our sanctification process.

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires."
James 1:19-20

A special thanks

Today has been one of those days where I am overflowing with satisfaction in God and how he has formed my life up to this point. Realizing that any of the mistakes that I made along my journey could have drastically changed my path had it not been for the sovereign will of God. As many people say, if you would have asked me six years ago if I would be where I am today, I would been taken back in laughter. Not because of many of the things in my life now, but because of this one thing: I am married to a senior pastor of a church. This one thing alone causes me to fall to my knees in praise towards God because it is because of this pastor, my husband, that I have grown in my journey with Christ in such an intense, face to the ground, kind of way. Of course it is only through the work of the Holy Spirit that we are transformed, but I thank God each day that the one he chose to be the closest, most defining influence of my sanctification process, is my husband Ryan.

I have always had a healthy respect and love for my husband, but it has been over the last few months as we have journeyed at Grace that I have seen his true freedom and joy in Christ. What a passion I see in Him as he strives to bring those around him a deeper understanding of God's Word. There is something so real about Ryan as he struggles, like each one in his congregation, to discern the will of God in his life and then embrace it, love God all the more for it, and rejoice.

So today Ryan, I thank you for who you are. My husband, my best friend, and my pastor. I thank you for your leadership in our physical family, but also our spiritual one. Thank you for always pushing me towards Christ, for loving me when I desperately need it, and for having patience when I fall. I look forward with great anticipation to the ways God will use in you in lives of so many. You are doing well my husband...Thank you for letting me labor with you as we live our lives together for His fame...

"For the Lord our God has made us
And the Lord our God has saved us
The Lord our God is growing us
And the Lord our God has brought us
This day in which to offer
Our lives together for His fame."
-Of All Daughters J. Ryan Davidson
copyright November 2005

Beauty of Creation

"The heavens declare the glory of God,and the sky above proclaims his handiwork."(Psalm 19:1)

Sometimes in the midst of changing seasons, it's nice to take a few moments and reflect on the amazing beauty that God uses to bring forth new life. I was in our front yard playing with my kids when I realized the tiny white flowers that had blossomed in our tree. The ones on the top have already come, served their purpose, and have died, but I happened to catch a picture of some of the ones still hanging on... I found this small clump of buds to be breath taking! I think the flowers sing the praises of God where I so often fail...

"And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!" (Revelation 5:13)

Perhaps I have found my life's verse...

Soon after I completed my time in college, I ran across this particular set of verses in Ezekiel. At that time they had such a profound impact on my life.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules...and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. (36:26-29a)

For a season of life, I had walked so far away from God that my heart had become like stone. In so many ways I was unable to see past my goals, my accomplishments, my struggles, my feelings, my life, and my mistakes, that my heart felt as hard as stone. I let nothing and no one in, and never let anything out. But, through God's constant pursuit of this saint, He began to break down the walls of my heart so that the heart of flesh, that He Himself has once placed in me, was able to hear His truth. How powerful the words "And I", "I will,""And I will,""cause you,""give you,""And I will be," and "I will" were to my soul. I was finally beginning to realize that it was by no work or merit of my own that could change the reality of my sinful state. It is only through the merciful work of God that I can be transformed. What a beautiful promise he lays out, "And I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses." What an undeserved gift that Christ is the one that is looked upon by God, not me in my utterly sinful state. So, for a season, that was my life's verse.

But now, as I have reflected over the past months of how blessed I am in this season of life, I realize (in a very humble and joyous way) that I could be at the height of "physical blessings" in my life. The health of my husband, children, and extended family is good. Our house is more than we ever could have imagined. The church has surpassed all expectations and continues to do so. The love between Ryan and I gains passion and depth each day, and I could go on... So, in desperately desiring not to put my faith, my hope, or my trust in these earthly things, I look forward with great anticipation to the promises of the following verses:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

We are not promised an easy life, in fact we are promised the opposite. It is through the struggles that we experience in this life that we grow in our "praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:7)." So my prayer is that I will welcome with boldness the future, all of the blessing and the trials, in hope that one day I will gaze on the things that are eternal...

Being Pure

Within Carolyn Mahaney's series A Fresh Look at Titus 2 she tackles the hard topic of being pure. In this talk, she challenges our approach to what we watch, read, think about, and even our intimate relationship with our husbands. It is absolutely worth your time to listen! Here is a link to the free download! "Being Pure" The other 6 parts to the series are worth the time as well!